how do i stop the abuse?
I thought things had changed.
It\'s so good to be treated like a valuable person, but it doesn\'t last.
I don\'t know what to do, where to go, there seems to be no way out. Please. . . . help me.
According to the Domestic Violence Resource Centre, one out of every 4 women (25%)
She experienced domestic violence in her life. Women ages 20-
Non-fatal intimate partner violence is at the greatest risk.
Men and women separated and divorced are at greater risk of non-fatal intimate partner violence.
Almost three out of four. 74%)
Americans personally know a victim of domestic violence.
On average, more than three women and one male were murdered by their close partner in [the USA]every day.
Can abuse be stopped?
The people who escaped successfully have several things in common.
They know the warning flag, develop a backup planGet help before the warning flag is 1 too late
Control was shown to be a high risk factor for predicting abusive behavior in controlled studies.
Control usually starts with commitment protection.
The illusion of security puts victims in a close relationship that their needs will be met.
They don\'t have to worry about these things anymore.
They will be sheltered and provided.
Unfortunately, protection has changed from protection to protection \".
\"The abuser has gradually closed the circle of influence around the victim and cut off the relationship with the extended family, friends, financial resources, communication channels and free expression.
In the name of protection, the abuser closely monitors the victims, checks every action, and criticizes every action.
Over time, the victims became isolated so that there was no opportunity to expose the abuse.
The stage has determined that the abuser is no longer worried that the victim will leave, so that they are free to do whatever they are willing to do.
As there is no way out, the victim has no choice but to comply. Warning sign 2-
Intimidation is the process of putting others down to build one. self up.
The abusive is not feeling high.
In order for them to surpass it, they will reduce the value of others.
This is done in a variety of ways: Naming and criticizing exploitation threats to accuse the abusive person of distorting the reality so that the victim thinks it is their own fault that they are abused.
Abuse stops if they are better, more beautiful, more popular or thinner.
The victims go out of their way to please the people who abuse them, hoping that by doing so, they end up feeling the love they feel at the beginning of the relationship.
There is always a disappointment.
The abuser may treat the victim better for the time being because the behavior is in line with their wishes, but in the end, the change is not enough and the abuse will recover.
The victims felt worthless, desperate and helpless, leading to further intimidation. Warning sign 3-
Anger is the most difficult warning signal to understand.
The wrath of the abuser may be directed against the victim, the whole world or themselves.
The victims may misunderstand that they are at fault and what they are doing wrong, however, this may not be the case.
On the contrary, for unexpected reasons, anger will appear at unexpected times.
This may be predictable, and the victim may think that he or she knows what triggered the event, but at another time it is found that something else triggered the event.
There may be no rhythm or reason for anger, and in fact, the victim may think that, without anger, the abuser has changed and they have actually been accepted and taken seriously.
However, every time the anger comes back, all the damage and suffering the victim receives will be fully restored.
The number of repetitions is sufficient, and the victim is unable to escape his grasp and cause irreparable psychological harm.
Anxiety, depression, postpartum symptoms
The stress of trauma and the development of fear.
The development of a backup plan contains several necessary components: contact with people in the outside world who are willing to help obtain a shelter for abuse, which provides financial resources for physical and legal protection, providing transportation professional services to shelters to deal with the consequences of abusit is enough to make things better.
These people are vulnerable to retaliation from the abuser.
Relocation is not enough to protect victims.
Even seeking help from the courts or law enforcement is not sufficient to provide protection.
Those who have successfully left abuse do so only when they are able to go directly into an abuse shelter that provides physical protection and legal recourse to the abuser.
Beyond the situation, there must be someone ready and willing to help.
This connection itself gives the victim the hope of a way out.
This hope enables them to look for loop holes and escape routes that can implement the plan.
These funds are available from the outside as financial resources increase.
Once the abuse shelter has been found and contacted and a place has been prepared for the victims and their families, it is only a matter of time.
Look for opportunities when the abuser is not present and food, clothes and transportation are readily available.
It is necessary to close your heart to the abuser and open your heart to the help of others.
Get the help you need before it\'s too late to end domestic violence, according to the National Network (NNEDV)
, You need to bring something specific when you leave: financial resources --
Legal documents for credit card/ATM card-money/taxi fee, Checkbook
Protection order, police record, record of violence, identification of lease/lease agreement-
Passport, immigration certificate, work permit, public aid ID, driver\'s license and registration, social security card, partner\'s social insurance number, birth certificate, child school record medical information-
Insurance, immunization records, medicine, glass household products
Baby Diapers/formula, clothes, family photos, address book, phone number, mobile phone. NNEDV advises you to get a post office box instead of saying your past or present address and sending it to someone else for the purpose of mailing
Discuss with utilities and other business entities not to disclose your private information to the abuser.
The following paragraphs are also from NNEDV.
If for some reason it is necessary to meet with the abuser, bring someone with you.
Meet in public places, preferably where security guards or police are present.
If you are being followed on your way home, drive to a hospital, fire station or police station and honk to get someone out of the building.
Remind supervisors and colleagues
The workers at your place of work are on your situation.
Show them photos of the abuser and protection order and ask them to work together to keep you and your family safe.
Talk to school officials and let them know who is allowed to pick up your child.
Teach the child how to contact you if the abused takes it away.
Keep a record of all contacts with the abuser.
There is no need to continue abuse.
It is possible to escape.
The risk is high and it may take time to collect resources, however, some people and places are ready and willing to help.
Don\'t wait too late!